Why Un-learning is More Important Than Learning

For the last few years, I have been on a journey to find myself. Like everyone else, I have tried following my curiosity often in different forms like writing obsessively, EFT therapies, meditations, running, painting, studying philosophy, practicing new religions every few months, and looking at tech trends with micro and macroscopic lenses to find a place to fit in perfectly. And despite all my efforts, I’m still very far from a good answer.

Recently, I uncovered some of my own blind spots, like operating mostly from a top-down approach, feeling almost always right, avoiding feelings, and more. This realization taught me that unlearning ingrained behaviors is more challenging than acquiring new knowledge.

So this made me ask, “What makes me ‘Me’ and how fast can I unlearn it to be it to become a better version of myself?”

While I have no clue what the perfect answer to this question is, I might’ve found something worth trying.

It begins by exploring how and why I learned what I did, what I can do to unlearn it, and a baseline philosophy to keep me patient and resilient.

Here’s how I’m doing it:

The Secrets of Knowledge Systems

Knowledge systems are the frameworks through which we understand, categorize, and interpret the world around us. These systems are built from our experiences, education, and social interactions, creating a mental map that guides our actions and beliefs.

We start learning the moment we’re born (or maybe even before that). But what happens when you realize that you need a mental upgrade?

For example, individuals from cultures that value politeness might find that explicit communication is more effective than implicit methods in conflict resolution or cross-cultural interactions.

This brings us to deconstructionism, a philosophy introduced by Jacques Derrida. Deconstructionism suggests that meaning is always in flux, and our knowledge systems are never complete or absolute. It exposes the limitations and biases within our understanding.

In today’s myopic world where the illusion of knowledge takes center stage, deconstructionism is the prescription glasses to fix your vision.

Question everything.

But, for what?

The Role of Neuroplasticity

What happens when you realize that the system failed you? What happens when you realize it’s time to unlearn the patterns?

Unlearning in humans is not as simple as removing weights from LLMs. Our minds are hardcoded into our brains. Our thoughts have a biological origin. We learn from what and how we experience.

But neuroplasticity, the brain's remarkable ability to reorganize itself, creates a balance. Our brains are dynamic and constantly evolving structures capable of forming new connections and pathways.

Honestly, increasing your neuroplasticity is simple. It involves adopting practices that stimulate and support the brain's ability to change.

For example, playing video games, reading something intellectually stimulating, learning a new language, making music, traveling, etc. can all increase neuroplasticity.

Once you master one thing, you can easily master other things too.

How you do one thing is how you do everything. It is simply transfer learning. It is the application of knowledge or skills learned in one context to new and different contexts.

But can we create transfer unlearning too?

The Happiness Paradox

From the moment we’re born, our goal becomes to be happy. Everyone has an idea of what happiness means to them.

And we end up believing that we’re supposed to be happy all the time.

The paradox of happiness is that the more you chase it, the more it eludes you. Happiness is often seen as the ultimate goal, but the pursuit of happiness can be counterproductive. This is called the happiness paradox.

But what if we could unlearn to seek happiness, fulfill our ambitions, and seek satisfaction?

Can that be counterproductive too? Most likely!

Remember, old habits die hard, but they do die. While it is not easy to relax into the uncertainty of not pursuing happiness anymore, it is not impossible.

The idea here is to make novelty the replacement for happiness. If you can shift your mindset to prioritizing new experiences over the ones that already bring you happiness, you will be happier.

But even if you don’t, in the process you’ll either find yourself or lose yourself. Either way, it fulfills the goal of experiencing novelty.

To put it simply, seek what you enjoy and happiness will follow. Seek what piques your curiosity and it’ll bring satisfaction as a byproduct. Seek to fulfill your ambitions, and the purpose will follow.

From the transfer learning perspective, it is exactly how businesses work. You solve the problems for people that bring revenue. It is also how fitness works. You seek to finish exercises, your bodily goals align automatically. It is also how writing works. You seek to hear others through your words but get heard yourself instead.

What you seek is seeking you but to meet with it, you have to seek yourself.